I believe that some of us are wired to be more compersive than others. Equally important, I have found that there are times when it is easier or more challenging for me to feel good about someone else’s happiness. Self-awareness and self-care are key parts of the equation. Additionally, while compersion is most frequently discussed in the context of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy, I think it has broader applications.

The pursuit of relational freedom requires a new approach to jealousy: Buddhism in particular offers a spiritual perspective and practice for moving beyond jealousy. This blog explores how the extension of the Buddhist contemplative quality of sympathetic joy or mudita from its original context to intimate relationships can transform jealousy and thus support greater relational freedom.

In this blog, influential philosopher of emotions Ronald de Sousa explains that jealousy can be transformed into compersion when we reframe the core sensation of jealousy into a positive (although counter-cultural) story. Rejecting the idea that we are entitled to sexual jealousy, or that jealousy is proof of love, de Sousa argues that we may free ourselves from culturally-based assumptions by ascribing compersive meanings to our lover’s extra-dyadic intimacies.